31/01/2018
My first theme for unit 7 is procrastination. The reason I chose this theme is that I think my procrastination is quite serious, in some ways, it influences my life. In the beginning, it just happened a few times, but then it slowly becomes a way of my life. I feel bad when I waste my time to procrastinate something I should finish early. And the pressure after I made my procrastination makes me feel anxious. I think I should change this situation as soon as possible.
In addition, the procrastination becomes a very common phenomenon in modern society. People are easily affected by others because of their low self-discipline. And procrastination does tremendous damage to us and others. If this phenomenon continues, I think that would bring bad influence to their children as well. Therefore I think it is a worthy theme to be studied. I would like to design a jewellery piece that could help people to overcome their procrastination, having a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
01/02/2018
I researched deeply and detailedly the definition of procrastination today, about what it means, the expression of procrastination, the influence and the result it causes by procrastination etc. In order to design a jewellery that could help people to overcome their weaknesses- procrastination, I think it is important for me to have a better understanding of it. During the research, I found out some interesting information about procrastination, such as the positive status of procrastination, which this kind of people like working under pressure so that they could make a more considered decision. I think I am this kind of person, for me, I feel procrastination is a kind of way of saving time, as I am confident that I could finish my tasks last minute, it is more efficient than in normal times. In that, I could do more relaxing activities before the deadline. However, I think that kind of thinking is not right because the pressure when I am trying to finish my task last minute makes me anxious, and it also influences the physical health because I might stay up quite late. If things continue this way, it is not good for physical and mental health neither. Overall, procrastination is a bad habit, I think we are supposed to correct this shortcoming.
02/02/2018
One of the methods to overcome procrastination is be aware of thoughts that lead to procrastinating. Therefore an important element is to set up the right mindset and have the willing heart to overcome the weakness. A keyword that associate with the procrastination is action. A person that procrastinate is because he/she does not want to do it, therefore I want to design a jewellery with the movement, so that trigger procrastinators' motivation to do things. Another keyword is time, as the procrastination is actually delaying and failing to do it on time. It is also a behaviour that wasting time, therefore, I want to add the time element to the jewellery piece, such as the sands in a sand clock which represents the passing time. My initial design idea is a ring design that mimics the movement of the sand clock. A semicircle glass container that connected to two metal rods to the rings on fingers, there are two sections in the glass container, which the above section has sands full of it with several small holes for leaking, the bottom section has three beads on a balancing stand and three holes that smaller than the beads at the bottom of the glass container. Only when the fingers move and the three beads plug up the three holes, the device could stop the sands leaking. This jewellery device is to trigger the procrastinators to move their hands to do things.
03/02/2018
11/02/2018
There is a questionnaire of "Do you know your dark side" I found online, I gave it to 14 people to do the survey and received feedback from them. There are six choice questions, and four results that depend on the most number of A,B,C,D options. When they are doing the questionnaire, I found out a few of them did not give me one certain answer, they are not sure and there are some choices they think they are not any of them. And a few people spent longer time than I expect on the questionnaire because they never thought about those question before and they do not really know themselves clearly, or they do not have that experience. The most result they got are D, which it says "you are accepting your shadow in a right way", "you admit you have the dark side, and not fear it but be fascinated by it". They think the test is not reliable especially the description of being fascinated by the shadow self. Overall, I think this test is not reliable as well, because the result did not tell them much about their shadow self, and also it does not match the test title. Therefore I will find another psychological test or I will make a questionnaire to try to get to know their shadow self.
12/02/2018
I made a questionnaire today, however, I realise it is quite personal, therefore I did not have much expectation that I could get much feedback. Indeed, I did not receive any feedback from them, because they said they never thought about that before, and they do not really know what kind of their shadow self is. Most of them admit they have a dark side, and they think everyone has it, but it is hard to describe it, and they feel shame to talk about it. I think the way I ask those questions is too direct, however, I do not know how to ask those questions euphemistically to get direct answers.
And then I found out a survey of shadow self "How to get to know your shadow self", this survey asks questions based on the method of psychological projection, let audiences to help themselves to be familiar with their shadow self. Those activities include:
1.List five characteristics you hate and find a person you hate the same sex, see if he/she accord with those characteristics.
2. Recall a scene that you once got angry, find out the elements that made you angry.
...
I did this questionnaire firstly, and the main characteristic of my shadow self might be self-righteous. I think this might be right, the questions are reasonable, the answers are reflected from the psychological projection, therefore I think this questionnaire is fairly reliable. I think It might be the best questionnaire to help us to have the chance to bring into contact with our shadow self.
14/02/2018
In order to understand how other artists present shadow self visually in their work and have a more deep understanding of shadow self, I researched the collage artists, Pablo Thecuado and Franz Falckenhaus. Because their artwork both show the idea of inner beings. Thecuado expresses the duality of the human being, his collage artworks have an elegant and minimalistic style, the colour palette is harmonious, present a sense of calmness. He collages the character with a part of them which come out or wrap around them creates a strong outline and layers to show the deep thoughts of inner being. Which to me, just like the shadow self, that co-exists with us and hides beneath our persona that shown to others. I am interested in the word "duality" that the artist stated about his work, it reminds me of the duality in shadow self, as it is both positive and negative, the positive ego has negative shadow self; the negative ego has positive shadow self. It is the alter-ego, opposites to our ego.
Falckenhaus uses vintage illustration to create his collage, revealing the inner being, his artwork show a sense of humour and slightly nostalgic feel. The collage which consists of several layers of a man's portraits gives a feeling of expanded space, and the one the characters merge with surging clouds shows the metaphor of the mystery, recondite alter ego.
15/02/2018
By researching the dark side of human nature, I found out the artist Joseph Loughborough's artworks, he creates dark and grotesque, yet delicate and beautiful charcoal drawings that challenge and trigger existential questions and anxieties. Loughborough's artworks have an expressive and impulsive style, those characters in his drawings look kind of vague at the first glance, they merge with the black and white background, parts of outline of body are blurred which look like they are merged with it as if they come from the darkness. That scarred and whimsical characters, quick and harsh strokes, all reveal a sense of the mysterious existence of shadow self.
Loughborough renders the grim side of human nature: sin, desire, fear and anxiety over one's own absurdity, questioning how we interpret our oft-untold fear and desires. The style is influenced by a fusion of primitive art, colour-field painting and Stuckism, the distorted characters and figures explore the notion of experience and naivety. He uses the notch to symbolically the work with experience, and that inspired me, the notch is the past experience of the person, and the shadow self is continuously developing from the past to the present to the future the nature we denied, it is consist of the all the past experience, like the symbolic notion of notch in Joseph Loughborough's work.
16/02/2018
Matthew Neidbal also explores the dark side of human nature, creates visually disturbing narratives on subjects such as hunger and starvation, the depiction of drab and industrial scenery as if the medieval visions in a modern setting, it is dark and unnerving, provocative and beautiful. Loughborough and Neidbal both apply dark tone and grotesque depiction of human to render a creepy vibe, especially in Neidbal's paintings, the combination of plentiful sensual human nude and the hard mechanical engineering components looks so deadish, as if fugitives from hell and the whole landscape took on a bizarre and eerie aspect. His paintings inspired me, using mechanical elements in my jewellery piece to suggest a force that controls our movement, just as if we sometimes lose our control and be like another person because of the impulse by the shadow self. I might also apply black as the main colour in my piece to render the mysterious vibe of the shadow self, as it is always hidden in the darkness, we seldom realise its existence.
18/02/2018
Unlike the thrilling vibe created in the paintings by Loughborough and Neidbal, David Samuel Stern applies a light and airy palette in his collage artworks suggests a sense of calmness. Stern physically weaves portraits together, turns digital photography into physical objects by adding geometric texture, showing two different sides and emotions of his subjects, bridge dignified, direct portraits with a sort of abstraction that allows their subjects to hide within themselves, creates dichotomy internal characters as if appear to be in motion. The weaving technique just reminds me of shadow self as it is hidden beneath our conscious mind, the stripe weaving with another, it sometimes hides sometimes reveals, the unstable status just like the shadow self once it is triggered by intense emotion or other elements, it might come out. In that, I might use weaving technique in my jewellery design.
19/02/2018
As the shadow self is hidden beneath our ego, the less consciously we are aware of it, the blacker and denser it is, by seeing our own shadow we also see our own light. Therefore I think the best way to present the shadow self is using the shadow, as a shadow is a dark area produced by a body coming between rays of light and a surface. The artists Nicholas Alan Cope and Dustin Edward Arnold play with light and shadow, black and white contrasts, between mysterious figures enveloped by vaguely sacred-looking shrouds and spiritual places surrounded by light and darkness, creates burred silhouettes of the body beneath the layers of fabric. The artists restrain the palette in order to focus entirely on form rather than colour. Their design is very inspirational, I learnt how they capture the shape of the shadow created in the space by light and applied it in their fashion design. I like the way they link the spiritual meaning of the place and materials together to render a sacred, tranquil atmosphere in the fashion piece, I think I might apply the method in my jewellery piece as well, to give it a spiritual meaning, create a vibe around the piece to help my audiences immerse in the thinking of their dark side.
Inspired by the material used in the fashion pieces by Nicholas Alan Cope and Dustin Edward Arnold, I inserted a piece of aluminium mesh inside the interlayer of a piece of white fabric, cut several holes and formed it to explore the shadow created by the light come through it. The white fabric piece itself is not complete, only when the shadow created by the light, the shadow and the object that produce it become a whole, then it is complete. We need the existence of shadow unless we are not a complete person.
20/02/2018
Maiko Takeda, who is a jewellery designer that also plays light and shadow, her "Cinematography" collection is about wearing shadow as jewellery, each metal piece consists of thousands of minimal and geometric, various sizes of circular holes, it is a simple technique but produced the complicated shape. The cast detailed shadow appears on the body as a photograph, her jewellery pieces involved in the space and physically experience something for a transient moment. The light, the shadow, and the body all work together to create an installation work. Inspired by the use of materials, I experimented with aluminium mesh, play with light and shadow to see the effect. As the aluminium is silver, and the shadow is black, the shadow created behind the mesh as if fuse with it, it is kind of hard to recognise which is the entity which is the shadow. The shadow created by the mesh is very dramatic and beautiful. The shadow is still, and fixed in that position. Nevertheless, the shadow self is continually developing since childhood, therefore I think I might use flowing shadow such as water shadow to suggest this element of shadow self, I might experiment with transparent material and liquid later to see the effect of flowing shadow of liquid.
21/02/2018
Sarah West brazes small gauge steel wire together into a metal frame, merges with a photograph printed on transparency film, the combination of plane and line looks as if the shadow comes from the plane photograph. That style of design just let me associate with shadow self, the metal frame beneath takes much area than the photograph, the photograph represents our ego, the persona we were shown to others, it just a part of our personalities, the parts we have not shown are hidden beneath our persona, sometimes we even have not realised their existence.
There are bridge that connect across space and time, boundaries that speak to personal history, shadows of memory and hollow spaces of a post fading away. Underlying our existence, that is what we do not see when we look in the mirror, is a composite of all that surrounds us, of all the things we have touched and been influenced by. I think I might this combination of plane and line to represent our ego and shadow self in my jewellery design.
23/02/2018
I went to Tate Modern to do more research about shadow self today, one exhibition room that cached my attention is "International Surrealism", as this surrealist group were inspired by dreams and the unconscious mind; and the shadow self is an unconscious part of the personality. The poet Andre Breton who published the "First Manifesto of Surrealism" had been stimulated by the theories of Sigmund Freud, who suggested the existence of an unconscious mind, containing the ideas and emotions that our conscious mind refuses to acknowledge, which has been called "Shadow Self" by Carl Jung; this further proves the common view of theory of shadow self by Freud and Jung that I researched before. Breton and his associates argued that artists and writers should actively seek to unlock the unconscious, releasing hidden desires and irrational love, the delirium of obsession and madness. It accords with my concept of shadow self, therefore I looked at the artworks in this room to see how they present the abstract dream and unconscious mind visually. One painting which is called "The tiled Room" by Maria Helena Viera da Silva, she creates the spatial illusions by shapes, sizes, colour and distance to distort the space as if it is expanding, gives a sense of depth which inspired me, I might also apply this spatial illusion technique by adjusting the distance of geometric shapes in my jewellery design to suggest the developing shadow self.
Another exhibition room that inspired me is "Painting with White", which the paintings and reliefs in this room all use white, or a range of near-white hues. The decision to restrict themselves to one colour can open up a rich and versatile area of investigation. It draws attention to a variety of techniques, materials, textures, surfaces, structures and forms, and emphasises the responsiveness of white to light and shadow. I think I might also restrict the use or colour, apply only one or two, such as black and white in my jewellery design, to focus on the form and shadow itself, the black represents our shadow self, while the white represents our ego. One artwork "Holes" by Shozo Shimamoto, was made from layers of pasted newspapers; the surface was painted white with hints of pale blue, then pierced to reveal the different layers underneath. I think I might create layers to show the idea of shadow self as well.
24/02/2018
I went to welcome collection to try to find something about collection about unconscious mind today, the collection of masks reminds me of persona, one of the reasons people wear the masks is to disguise the anguish and camouflage, which just like the persona that hides our shadow self behind it. There is some wood and stone carving works look like the human brain, I found out the texture on these works is interesting, I might use them in my jewellery design to suggest the unconscious mind.
08/03/2018
I made four models based on my design drawings from different parts of the body today: foot, wrist, head and fingers. I quite like the one on the wrist, it consists of several circular rings. When they are all overlap together, it looks like only have one plane, but when they are spread, several layers revealed. It shows my concept of shadow self, the overlap element represents the persona as we usually show to others one side of our personality, however, our personality is complicated, there are much people cannot see behind the surface. Those other circular rings suggest the shadow self, the hidden aspects of our personality. I also like the piece that connects from the neck and above the head, although there is a mistake when I first made it from my best design drawing, the position of the holes for the sticks connected to it is wrong, either enlarge the size of the neck piece or narrow the distance between the two holes on the circular plane; I still like it, the height of it is appropriate and comfortable, and I like the simplicity of the design. Another problem with this model is the bearing capacity of it, as the model is made of paper and thin sticks, the size of the circular plane is too big and the stick is too thin to support it, if I make it into a formal jewellery piece, I would use acrylic tubes instead of the stick, and I would consider the weight of the material of the circular plane. I do not really like the neck piece part, even though I enlarge its sie, it would be not stable in the position when the model wears it, so I would change its design to make it more appropriate.
09/03/2018
In order to have more design ideas, and a more board way to develop my ideas, I used a few methods for designing such as subtracting an element from my original design, by doing this it helps me to further think about what the more important and necessary bits in my design are, to make my design more significant. I took two sticks out of my model, it becomes shorter and cannot reach the shoulder. That makes me think about if I could place it into another position of the body such as head, or what another element I could add to it to make it long enough to reach the shoulder instead of sticks. I also combined two of my models together to get a new possible outcome. These exercises are a useful way of developing the design, as that refine our thinking.
10/03/2018
By the design exercise, I tried another design direction which is using the mirror element in my design. I looked at Lucie Marsmann's works, one work from her I like very much is a simple square headpiece made of a piece of mirror, that worn against the forehead so that reflects one's face as if reveals the existence of opposite shadow self; which just like the image of mirror significance in the Black Swan and Perfect Blue, suggests the hidden alter ego, an imagery self. I like the position of the piece the model wears it and the simplicity of the piece itself, that maximises the significance of reflective element of the mirror in this piece rather than creating complicated form. Inspired by the form of it, I had a few design ideas that using the mirror element and plastic tube which suggests a transfer and developing elements of the shadow self. I also like the one that a piece of a long mirror set on the ground against the model's body, inspired by the position of it, I designed a few pieces that worn against the face, however, I found the way to hold the mirror in the right place is a problem due to the weight of it. I will compare both design directions and might think about other designs.
16/03/2018
Today I tried to make the shoulder part of my design with plaster bandage material for testing. As there are four plastic tubes connected to the shoulder part, the shoulder part must be heavier enough to make the base stable and also it needs to be strong. As it is close to the skin, and also by considering the soft shape of it, I think the shoulder part is better to use a soft material that easily to model, therefore I tried to use plaster first. I made the right shoulder part first to see the effect, I chose the plaster bandage because it is easier, and quicker to use as a test piece. I cut about 20 pieces first then sink them into the water, smear the pieces evenly and put them on mannequin's shoulder one by one, as some of the pieces are smaller or bigger, so it might be not even in the beginning, I need to add more pieces to the thin part to make it even. After I used the whole roll of the bandage for one shoulder part, it has kind of thickness, however, it is not thick enough to make the tubes stay in the places, the texture of the bandage is slightly revealed after it is dry. Besides, the texture of plaster is kind of brittle, I am kind of worry that if the above piece is too heavy, it might cause the shoulder part get broken. Therefore, I decided to try another modelling material air dry clay to see how it goes.
19/03/2018
I used air dry clay to make the shoulder part today, it is not easy to model as plaster, however, it could be much stronger and heavier after dried. It could achieve a high-quality finish without firing up an expensive kiln. As it is air dry, therefore I need to frequently apply water to it avoid drying too quickly. When I inserted four acrylic hollow tubes into the shoulder part when it has not dried completely, it seems these tubes stay quite stable on the shoulder. Therefore I think it is a better material to use than the plaster. During the making process, I met a problem- I forgot to put clinging film onto the mannequin first, therefore after the shoulder parts are dried, it is hard to take them out. In order to keep the original shape as complete as possible, I used a small hammer and nicking tool to pry the edge carefully. Fortunately, except the edge and the back are slightly cracked, the shoulder parts are safely taken out. Because the colour of air dry is kind of darker than the plaster and also the cracked bits, I applied polyfilla to it after dried to give it a better finish. I think it works well, strong and heavy enough as a base to support the above piece.
27/03/2018
I looked at a few plastic materials today, there are some materials that I feel quite interesting, such as flat solid polycarbonate sheet that is clear embossed, it has a beautiful bubble-like texture, but because it is solid, it is not easy to form it by the heat gun. Therefore I think I might use three plastic pieces to create layers with different shapes to give a sense of variety.
As I was not sure if I put two or three layers and also separately or together, I started experimenting with the arrangement of the plastic pieces. At first, I tried arranged these piece together with two pieces or three pieces to see the effect. Because they all have different textures, it looks a bit messy when they overlapped together. Therefore I decided to arrange them separately.
29/03/2018
I was not sure to use two layers or three layers, therefore I used the paper straws and wires to make a simple model to hold the plastic piece in the place to see the effect, and I found out three layers looks better than two, as it could show a richer gradation. I was also considering the distance between the three layers, I tried to poke three holes on each two paper straws with the same distance, 3 cm, inserted with 4cm wire, and put plastic pieces. However, because of the curvy shape of the plastics, the distance between them is shortened, which makes them kind of crowded, so I think it is better to widen the distance. I made another model, poke the third hole 12cm from the second one, as the distance is widened, it is easier to see the whole structure of the three layers clearly. The distance between the tip of the rod to the third hole is 20cm, in that I need to use a longer acrylic tube, therefore I decided to reuse the 51cm acrylic tube but with thinner size, diameter 3mm.
05/04/2018
When I made the shoulder part, I used the bigger size acrylic tubes, the holes are quite big. Therefore I have to fill the holes with polyfilla to make it suitable for the new four solid tubes. During the making process, I found it is quite hard to do it, the fill bits were broken a few times because of the height of the tubes. I think the reason that the fill bits broke because I was kind of anxious to do it. I waited for 20 minutes for one bit to dry and continued making the next, while the time is actually not enough, it had not dried completely yet; therefore when I made the next one the waggle influenced the other tube. After a few times failures, I found out the problem, therefore I waited for them to dry for a long time and covered one more layer again, they are secure now.
09/04/2018
By talking to tutor with my current progress, she suggested me to slightly change the edge of the plastic pieces, as it is kind of rigid that is not delicate enough like the water waves. I agreed with that, therefore I used the heat gun to blow the edge of a piece of acetate for testing, while I found out it is really hard to control it. At the first time, the edge of acetate piece is burnt severely, the whole piece is deformed terribly. I realised it is too hard to just shape the edge of acetate piece, therefore I decided to test it by using vacuum plastic as it is thicker than the acetate. In the beginning, I failed, I did not make the edge more delicate and nice, but after several attempts, I found out it is easier to use fingers to fold a few bits of the edge outwards, and a few bits inwards to give it a natural wave appearance. I repeated this technique and adjusted the whole piece several times to enhance its appearance. It worked very well.
04/02/2018
My second theme for unit 7 is "Shadow Self-evilness of human nature", the reason I chose this theme is because I read a book recently, and there is much food for thought in this book. The title is "Rashomon" by a Japanese author Ryunosuke Akutagawa. It is a collection of several short stories. The one that set me thinking is the first story which has the same name as the book name. It talks about an ordinary servant in the extreme environment which is full of earthquake, tornado, famine, in order to survive he takes off the cloth of an old lady for money; when he saw the old lady pulls up the hair from a dead woman to make a chignon. And the dead women when she was alive, she cut snakes into pieces, lying they are dried fish for sale. They all did the wicked things just for surviving, in this kind of situation the evilness of human nature emerges from the deepest heart. It is that easy to transform from goodness to evilness, this short story demonstrates the ugliness of human selfish nature, conveys the author's emotion of hopelessness to human nature. This short story "Rashomon" makes me think what will I do if I am in that situation? Will I do the bad things just like them for surviving? And then I had my answer. I think from the bottom of my heart, I want to do the same thing as them but I would not really do it if I am in that situation. The only reason that restrains my immorality is my identity of being a Christian, without this identity, I think I will attain my end by hook or by crook for surviving. I am kind of surprised how dark I might be and the potential evilness from my heart. I am interested in the goodness and evilness in human nature, therefore I chose this theme.
05/02/2018
There is a famous Chinese saying "Man's nature at birth is good". I did not think deeply about it before. But after I read the "Rashomon", I really question it now. Is the man's nature at birth really good? In the beginning, I set my theme title as "Evilness of human nature", as I think we are essentially evil. That evilness is deep in our heart, we usually do not see it and ignore it until something happened, like a button switches on our evilness and makes us like another person. But actually this another person is us as well, even though he/she behaviours so differently as our well-behaved self. It is us, the alter ego, the shadow self that hidden in our unconscious mind. During the research, I knew the evilness of human nature comes from the "shadow self"- the psychological term used to refer to "the dark side of personality", and it is proposed by the psychologist-Carl Jung. It was my first time that heard this word, in that I am quite curious what it means and what it is about. As I was further researching, I knew more about shadow self. Shadow self is primitive, instinctive and irrational, everyone has it, it could be triggered by any intense emotions such as fury, repression, love etc. Also, the alcohol, drug those substances which could lower the self-control may trigger it. Carl Jung states that shadow self is prone to psychological projection, which it involves projecting undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else. So if we do not like some traits on someone, our shadow self may also have those traits, this makes me feel it likes a subconscious self-hatred. I found it is quite interesting because we have such a dark side, a part of ourselves but we do not know it. The one who knows yourself clearest should be yourself, but actually, the existence of shadow self tells us we even may not know ourselves completely. Therefore, I changed my title into "Shadow self-evilness of human nature", to dig out the other side of ourselves, to try to understand it better.
07/02/2018
As the shadow self seems like so negative, I am thinking what is the positive aspects of shadow self because I think everything has its positive and negative therefore I further researched the information on shadow self today. "Shadow contains the positive of potential life choices "not made" because sometimes our life choices are not freely made. We are taught as children to be one way and not another and have little choice. Boys may be taught not to cry and girls not to be assertive." However, it is largely negative as the shadow represents the repressed in our life. There are examples of expressions of shadow self present that our nature at birth is evil. For example, children usually push over the building blocks after they finish stacking them, that is because our instinctive destruction of the impulse. A further example, according to a study, six-month babies would show their preference for their race's face, which means the seed of discrimination sow very early and subconsciously in our heart.
We cannot wipe out the shadow self but we can start trying to understand it, know it better. It is beneficial to face our shadow self as that could help us to know our essence, realise we have an opponent in our heart; so that we could improve ourselves, help us to grow, live a more humble and fulfilling life.
08/02/2018
From my research, another example of expressions of shadow self in our early life is bullying-our desire of humiliating and insulting others. And the best proof is the famous psychological Stanford prison experiment. In order to have a visualisation and better understanding of it, I watched the film "Stanford Prison Experiment" today. The film restores the original situation of the experiment, the psychology professor Phillip Zimbardo converted a basement of the Stanford University psychology building into a mock prison and advertised asking for college students to play the part of guards or prisoners to investigate the psychological effects of prison life. The experiment stopped after the six days while the original plan is for two weeks because the situation was losing control, the ordinary college students became the violent party.
I am quite shocked when the friend of the professor Zimbardo(another supervision) said that he hated himself because he became that kind of person he hated when he back to the supervise room, insult those students who play the role of prisoners but actually he enjoyed it to be frank. Hate but enjoy, then I just realised this is what has been called "shadow self", the dark side of personalities, and in this kind of environment, it triggers people's primitive impulse, the ugliest and morbid aspect in human nature appeared on the surface. The environment provided those people with a reasonable reason for bullying and freedom of violence, so the Pandora's box of bullying people suddenly opened. The seed of bully is always in our hearts, it just lacks the catalyst of a suitable environment. If you were in the position of them, what would you have done?
09/02/2018
After I watched the movie "Standford Prison Experiment", I am also thinking how we can get to know our deep shadow self? And then I saw an information that "the shadow may appear in dreams". And it let me associate with the psychologist Freud, and his book "the Interpretation of dream". I feel they have some common links about the unconscious mind, therefore I started to research the difference and similarity of their shadow theory. Besides, I think it is not reliable just believe one's theory, even though I quite agree with it. I should look at others' to see how they see it and what their opinions are.
Freud makes big concessions to Jung-admits that shadows do exist, from one perspective, the shadow is roughly equivalent to the whole of the Freudian unconscious. Freud declared that the human mind centres upon three structures- the id, the ego and the super ego. The ID forms our unconscious drives(mainly sex), and is not bound by morality, which I think it is associated with shadow self. Jung stated the shadow self could appear in dream, but dream is a misty thing, it is hard to capture and understand the meaning of it, therefore I might not do the survey from this point. I might try to find a reliable psychological test of shadow self online to find a way to understand our shadow self.
26/02/2018
Today, I watched the film "Black Swan", an American psychological horror film directed by Darren Aronofsky. The plot revolves around a production of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lack ballet by a prestigious New York City ballet company. The production requires a ballerina to play the innocent and fragile White Swan, for which the committed dancer Nina (Portman) is a perfect fit, as well as the dark and sensual Black Swan, which are qualities better embodied by the new arrival Lily (Kunis). Nina is overwhelmed by a feeling of immense pressure when she finds herself competing for the part, the warning of "Let it go" by the director and her desire for the leading role makes Nina's inner contradiction intensified.
She hopes to explore her dark side and wants to be independent, but her mother controls her tightly, her consciousness does not allow her to do so. The emotion and feeling of her dark side are not really dark, she is a good girl, however, she had been repressed for too long, and even does not have the ability and energy to judge if they are reasonable or not. Since her mother had deprived her space and security, she had to control herself, she always has no chance to face herself completely. Nina could not describe her complicated feelings, grew up stumblingly along the way, playing the part the labels that outside people they gave to her and her patchwork of self.
This is a film about shadow self and perfection, to accept our own shadow self, reasonable release it, is really perfect. People always play a black and white swan at the same time. Emphasise perfection is because of her imperfection, and lack of self-confidence. This film helps me to have a deeper understanding of shadow self.
27/02/2018
Today we gathered our research images together for sharing and inspiration. We did a few exercises to classified those images into the different group in order to get a wider research range and share the ideas. At first, we classified those images by the similarities of theme, materials and colour etc, so we got groups like body movement, metal, protection, loneliness, spike, natural and colourful. By looking at those images, I did find some of them matches my theme, I might go to research more about them later. The next exercise, we drew a horizontal line across the paper, chose two words written in the end, such as tender and extreme, natural and artificial; then we put those images by considering which way they tend to. This method of reorganising the images helps me to think about the area I towards. I found this exercise is quite useful, it makes me deeply consider the direction I want my piece to be. Is it tend to tender or extreme? Will my work go hard or soft; defensive or aggressive; natural or artificial? Do I want my audience to have a strong sense of the darkness of shadow self, to accept it or I just want to encourage them to realise the existence of shadow self? This exercise enhances my depth of thinking, I think I would do this kind of exercise for my next project as well.
28/02/2018
I watch the film "Perfect Blue" today, it is 1997 Japanese animated psychological thriller film directed by Satoshi Kon. The film follows Mima Kirigoe, the member of a Japanese idol group who retires from music to pursue an acting career. As she becomes a victim of stalking, she starts to lose her perception of reality and fiction. This film deals with the blurring of the lines between fantasy and reality in contemporary Japan. He birthed some terrifying creations that make us question how deeply we can sink into dark places.
This film actually talks about growth, to overcome all hardships and dangers and reinvent themselves. When Mima's broker Rumi talk to her she is dirty, Mima answered stoutly, "I don't care, I am who I am". She finally grew up. Growth is every time when you beat by the reality, to create a new strong self, and do not hesitate to speak out, this is me! Her contradiction is her fantasy and her real self, but in the end, she eventually grows into a more and more mature and calm actress from a naive girl idol.
03/03/2018
I am going to start my initial design today, and then I found out a jeweler who is called Hanwen Shen, her jewellery pieces are quite interesting as she only focuses on the position in the nape, which is often used to describe the back area of the neck. We usually tend to notice the front of the face and lose sight of the back because of our forward vision. Therefore the area of the back of the neck seems to be less considered than the front part. This inspired me that I think I might design the piece in the nape, because it is the area that people usually neglect, just like shadow self that we always ignore it. And also when the light is blazing down on us, the shadow comes out at our back. I am also considering the position above our head, if I design a piece that hanging above the head, we might kind of see a part of it but not completely, which suggests we might kind of realise the existence of shadow self, but it is hard for us to know it roundly.
05/03/2018
I accidentally took a picture of a bottle of glass which with some water, and then I found the shadow produced by the light on the table is so beautiful and dreamy. The flowing shadow of the liquid perfectly suggests my concept of the developing element of the shadow self. I imagined the scene of the shadow self which I think it just like the shadow of the underwater world, so deep; and in this tranquil place, we could ponder quietly what our shadow self looks like. In that, I further researched the images of underwater world shadow, the light on the sea and ripples. I captured the shape and line of them for inspiration for designing. Considering the position of the piece, I had several design ideas on different parts of the body: head, hand, arm, nape, foot and leg. I think the nape and above head are the best positions for my concept, as they are not easy to see which just like the shadow self.
06/03/2018
Among all these initial designs drawings on the body, I like the one which a plane circle piece above the head and connected with two rods to the neck best. It is inspired by an image of the underwater world when a light shining in and creates the dramatic shadow on the bottom of the sea. I like the simplicity of the design, the form is very concise but effective, as the main focus will be the circle piece when the light comes in and creates a shadow on the face. Initially, I was thinking to use a plain aluminium mash piece, but after I think it would be better to make the circle piece kind of curved to contain water so that create a flowing shadow. I also like the design of a curved tube on the back connects to a piece of a circular plane, the design is concise with a beautiful curvy shape. I think I might put black liquid inside the tube to suggest the developing shadow self; however, the overall form looks kind of like a lamp, therefore I might enhance this design later.
12/03/2018
Today is my part three progress tutorial, by discussing with my tutor Tamzin, she likes my concept idea and the model that over the head. However, because of the unstable structure of the model, she suggests me to add two more rods to the circular plane and fixed them on shoulders so that forms a rectangular shape to make it more stable rather than just two points to support the weight of it. And also she asked me to think about the material and shape of the plastic piece, for example, it could be a plastic bag that hung by the four rods. I think her suggestion of using four rods is useful as that deals with the base problem of this piece to make it more stable. Next, I will research materials and experiment them to create the shadow to see the effect of it; I will also refine my design.
14/03/2018
Today, I gathered several plastic materials to experiment with water to create the shadow, such as plastic film, mirror, fluorescence plate, vacuum plastic, acetate etc. By experimenting them with light and water, I found out those are transparent creates clearer shadow than translucent plastic. By using a heat gun to change the shape and add a texture to a piece of acetate, it creates beautiful ripple shape on it. When I pour water on the plane and using a torch to irradiate it, the shadow created has a beautiful and dramatic effect. As the acetate is thin, it is easy to use the heat gun to make it crinkle. I also found a piece of illusion wave clear paper in 4D modelshop, the pattern and texture are interesting, however, because it is translucent the shadow created is not very effective. Overall, I quite like the effect created by the acetate piece, I will further research materials to find the most suitable one.
15/03/2018
By researching the transparent plastic material, I found out an artwork which is called a little blue ocean by Sophia Collier. In her artist statement, she describes her inspiration as "One day I was walking across a bridge and thought I wish I could just reach down into the water and pick up a piece of that shining surface and keep it forever." As I am also thinking to use the element of water in my piece, and her artwork appears a tranquil peaceful atmosphere, creates a beautiful shadow from a piece of plastic material that mimics the movement of water waves; therefore I am wondering the techniques and materials the artist used to make it.
Through using animation and 3D modelling, Colier models digitally the water surface; she collects and extracts sound to acquire a solid shape forming the waves. After the 3D elaboration, the work is carved from an acrylic block using the CNC router and finally polished to give it the effect of liquid water. Then she uses moving media to create and record the movement of water waves. I think I might also experiment with the acrylic block in order to create water shadow next.
20/03/2018
Today, by talking with the tutor of my current progress, I got a few suggestions from them.
One problem with my current model is the height, as I poured water to the upper plastic piece, it is too heavy to enable the shoulder part support the weight as it has a ball shape. Too much water makes it hard to be supported, while too little water would not create enough range of shadow as the focus would be the centre. Therefore I might change the design of the upper bits and also reduce the height. The length of the acrylic rods are about 51cm at present, I will cut it to 32 cm because it is a perfect height that just over some distances of the head.
Another suggestion is the width of the acrylic rods, in the beginning, I chose the hollow acrylic rod (diameter: 1 cm) for adding black liquid to it, which it is also connected to the upper piece. I want it to suggest the developing and transferring elements of the shadow self by water. However, the tutor suggests me that it is too much, as the upper piece already has the meaning of it. I agree with that, therefore I might change the hollow acrylic rod into thinner solid ones. Because thinner tubes make it appear more delicate. I need to reconsider the design of the upper plastic piece.
22/03/2018
By reconsidering the upper plastic pieces, I found a jewellery piece by Alexandra Druzhinin, she designed a bracelet that made of mainly plastic with several layers and different patterns. These layers could be overlapped as if a whole solid structure by rotating them, the actual pieces are hidden under a fake surface. Inspired by this piece of jewellery, I think I could also use a few layers of plastic pieces with different sizes, shapes and maybe thickness as well, to suggest the different and multi-faceted dark sides of our personalities. I would use the heat gun to create ripple pattern on the plastic rather than use the actual water in order to reduce the weight of it. I would experiment with plastics and make the model to determine these uncertainties, such as the distance between each piece, the order of them etc.
23/03/2018
Today, I did a few experiments on plastics with the heat gun to change its shape and create ripple textures. Last time I found the acetate is the most suitable plastic to use, while it is quite thin, only o.1mm thick, therefore I tried to do experiment with other thicker plastics this time in order to give the whole piece a sense of variety. I tried the vacuum plastic about 0.7 mm thick, it works well as the 0.4mm thick plastic last time. It could create beautiful ripple pattern and would not be deformed like PVC plastic. However, it is hard to tell the difference of the thickness from the appearance, therefore I tried the acrylic board as it is much thicker than these plastics. Because it is too thick to use the heat gun to create the delicate ripple pattern. I tried to create bubble texture on top of the acrylic board to give it a diverse texture. I used the oven first for half an hour to see the effect, while the texture did not change at all, only be softened. Therefore I increased the time to an hour and a half, while there is no change. Until I left it in the oven for two hours, it still did not change, I gave up and tried to use a heat gun. I think one reason that it did not create the bubble texture is maybe the acrylic board I used is too big, therefore I chose a small piece this time and blew it with the heat gun. The surface slightly melted down, several bubbles came out, it worked! In that, I used the heat gun to blow a bigger size of an acrylic board, however, the surface melted quite slowly, only a few small bubbles came out, the effect is not good as the small piece. Therefore I might look at other plastic materials or I would use two or three different sizes of plastics rather than diverse thickness.
10/04/2018 Reflective Review
The theme of my project is "Shadow Self", at the beginning of research, I tried to find out detailed definitions of "Shadow Self", as it is a psychological term phrase. By reaching it further, I understand more about it, and I knew what message I want to convey through this project. "Shadow Self" is the dark side of our natures, we even do not want to acknowledge it; Even though it is largely negative and dark, it is beneficial to face it to understand ourselves more, so that enables us to grow, to be a complete self. I hope the audiences could start to realise their shadow self by my jewellery piece, this is what my aim is.
I started looking at the collage and painting artworks that I think related to shadow self, as they create a whimsical and mysterious atmosphere such as Joseph Loughborough and Matthew Neidbal's artworks. However, I found out I was kind of hard to get inspiration from them, even though I tried to capture the form of their work; I did not get much help from these works through this project. Until I saw the fashion works by Nicholas Alan Cope and Dustin Edward Arnold, they create blurred silhouettes of the body beneath the layers of fabric, plays with light and shadow, get inspiration from the structure of the shadow of the architectural building where the light comes in. Then I realised I could actually use the shadow in my jewellery piece to represent the shadow self. Therefore I had begun to play with light and shadow with aluminium mesh piece because of the flexibility of the material; so that I could change its structure easily and quickly to observe the shadow.
Besides, during the reaching, I found out it is really helpful and inspirational if you look at and notice the daily objects in the life in an imaginative way. I accidentally took a picture of a bottle of glass which with some water, then I found the shadow produced by the light on the table is so beautiful and dreamy. The flowing shadow of the liquid perfectly suggests my concept of the developing element of the shadow self. I imagined the scene of the shadow self which I think it just like the shadow of the underwater world, so deep; and in this tranquil place, we could ponder quietly what our shadow self looks like. That reminded me of the fashion works by Nicholas Alan Cope and Dustin Edward Arnold, how they get inspired by the architectures and light and shadow. Therefore I researched images of underwater world shadow, the light on the sea and ripples. It is always a useful method to flash new idea by looking back the previous research and linked them somewhere together to construct and enhance the concept and idea gradually. These in-depth research provided me with a good foundation for idea development later.
At the beginning of idea development, I did several idea sketchings on different parts of the body first, in order to find the best position for my jewellery piece to meet my concept idea. There is one artist's work inspired me, Hanwen Shen, she designs jewellery on nape, as it is a position people do not get noticed, I think it is a good position for my concept idea because it is hidden in the shadow just like we hardly realise our shadow self. However, I really like one idea sketching that a plane circle piece above the head, it is inspired by an image of the underwater world when a light shining in and creates the dramatic shadow on the bottom of the sea. I like the position and gesture when the model raise the head, if the material is transparent, such as plastic; when the light comes through the piece, the model would "wear" shadow on her body, so that the shadow fuses with her body, as if the shadow self and the ego become one, makes the audiences realise the existence of shadow self. Therefore I focused on the position that around the neck and shoulder and refining my design based on the one I like the most by making the models to see the problems I need to sort out.
However, during the making process of models, I met a serious problem is the weight of the upper plastic piece when it contains the water, it is too heavy to be supported by the shoulder part; besides, the height makes it much harder. By talking to my tutor, they suggested me to redesign without the water as the ripple pattern on the plastic pieces already represents the element of water. Therefore I changed my final design and made it three layers of plastic pieces to suggest the different levels and sides of shadow self.
The most uncertain part is the plastic pieces, I created the shape and texture on it by the heat gun, it is really hard to control it, therefore I arranged them several times to see the effect of them. During the making, one problem that I met is the fixation of the four acrylic tubes on the shoulder. When I made the shoulder part before I changed my final design, I used the bigger size acrylic tubes, the holes are quite big. Therefore I had to fill the holes with polyfilla to make it suitable for the new four solid tubes. The fill bits were broken a few times because of the height of the tubes, but another reason was my anxiety, and running out of time, I did not wait until one dried completely and made the next one, the waggle influenced them so that they were broken. I adjusted my mentality and left them to dry for the whole night when I came back the next day, I was kind of worry about it, fortunately, they were fixed! The reason the appeared this kind of circumstance is that my time management, I did not completely follow the action plan, there was a long Easter break so that I could not continue making my final, the short time left made me kind of rush. Next time, I will follow the action plan to complete it step by step.